2020 was a year for the history books: a global pandemic, an anxiety-inducing presidential election, a record-number of job losses — and that’s just on a national scale! On an individual level, we all went through so much more. It’s no secret that many of us struggled with weight management. Between stay-at-home mandates and work-from-home schedules, the kitchen may have been our only destination most days. Not to mention, emotions — particularly feeling stressed, isolated, and alone during uncertain times — can make us eat more. 

With this thought in mind, we wanted to revisit an interview with a lifetime Weight Watchers member who struggled with meeting her nutritional needs as she became more and more focused on the number on the scale.

Weight Watchers Mindset: “Eating Less Was Better”

This interview was recorded on Monday, February 26, 2018. The interviewee wishes to remain anonymous.

Tell us a bit about your experience with Weight Watchers.

 I started Weight Watchers 12 years ago. It worked, and I lost weight. I was very strict following the program, working out and doing everything that I was supposed to be doing. Plus, I had the pressure of my approaching wedding — the day I walked the aisle was the lowest weight I’ve ever been. 

If you stay within two pounds of your goal weight and weigh-in once a month, you become a lifetime member. You don’t have to pay the monthly membership fees, and you get the free smartphone e-tools, which help you keep track of food and points (it’s all about points), look up restaurants, etc. They keep changing the point system, and at one point, somehow, my goal weight went from 145 to 155.

I developed the mindset that eating less was better. It became a monthly challenge. I had to get to my monthly weigh-in, but it was becoming harder and harder. I was working out and eating less and less, and the weight was staying on. I didn’t understand what was going on. Only very recently did I realize that my body and my mind were both messed up. As I was doing research, I realized that I probably need to reset my metabolism.

I reached out to Weight Watchers to see if somebody could help me because it was taking a toll on my mental health and stressing me out. Everything was about weight; everything was about food. I felt like I was talking to a robot. She didn’t know what I was talking about; she didn’t even know what a metabolic reset was. She told me that I should eat more zero-point foods. When I responded that that’s pretty much all I eat, she told me to eat less of them! When I told her that I was eating between 400-800 calories per day, I just ended the conversation. I contacted Annika Kahm the next day.

Were you really motivated to stay a lifetime member? 

I was. I went back and forth. I actually had the phone number up on my computer. I would close my laptop and then I would open it up again. It was ridiculous. I just couldn’t call to cancel. It wasn’t because I would have to pay if I was over my goal weight; it was because I felt like a failure. I failed, and that was killing me.

How long were you eating 400-800 calories per day? 

I don’t know because I didn’t pay attention to calories until right before I quit (because of the points system). I fell into a pattern where I would starve myself a week before my weigh-in. It was affecting everything. I would never go out with my friends.  If I went out with them, it would be social, and they would probably be at a restaurant, and I didn’t want to do that. I had an easy excuse; I’d say, “I can’t go out after work because I have to go home to the kids.” So I didn’t have that. All this stuff is lost because of food and Weight Watchers.

How much did your weight fluctuate? 

I could gain seven pounds in a week – it was crazy! And it’s not like I was bingeing or anything. I always watched what I ate. But if I ate my allotment of points, I would gain weight.

Eating Disorder Behaviors

So even doing exactly what Weight Watchers was telling you to do, you were still gaining weight?  

Somehow, I messed up my body over time. I don’t know when it started; I just thought it was me. I thought, “This is just my body, and this is just what I have to do.” 

My son is a Boy Scout, and at the Pinewood Derby Race, I was sitting with some friends who were trainers at the gym. They were like, “Eat pizza”, and I’m like, “I can’t eat pizza because I’ll gain weight.” I made cabbage soup, and that’s what I was eating all weekend. But they convinced me, so I ate the crust of my son’s pizza. That’s all I ate besides cabbage soup (which has nothing in it!). The next day (and yes, I am compulsive about weighing myself), I gained two pounds. All I had was a pizza crust!

Is this what you would do the week before weigh-in, only eat cabbage soup? 

Yes, if I didn’t think I could reach my goal. I was eating two hard-boiled eggs for lunch every day, and I am happy to say that, since quitting Weight Watchers, I haven’t eaten a hard-boiled egg. I’m never going to eat another hard-boiled egg again – ha! I would have a banana for breakfast,  two eggs for lunch, and maybe grapes or an apple for a snack in the afternoon. If I had that snack, I wouldn’t eat dinner.

How were you feeling physically? 

I didn’t realize how tired I was until I started eating again. I have more energy now. I have two kids, who are 8 and 4, and I’m a middle-school teacher. I would fall asleep while putting my 4-year-old down. I haven’t done that since I started eating right. My friend says that now I don’t look tired, and that I look better. I didn’t realize how much food is connected to absolutely everything. I didn’t have a lot of patience. I got a lot of headaches, and I always thought it was because I wasn’t drinking enough water, but it was because I wasn’t eating.

There’s been a lot of discussion about the relationship between these diets and eating disorders. Do you think you may have an eating disorder? 

I think I probably do. When I started researching eating disorders… There’s bulimia and anorexia – and I’m not one of those — but there’s that other one, Other Specified Feeding and Eating Disorder (OSFED). It was hard to realize that I probably do have an eating disorder. I was very emotional after realizing that because what I was doing was not normal. I didn’t realize how much food was controlling every aspect of my life until I quit and started eating again. It wasn’t that long ago, and I still have a lot of work to do to undo what’s happened to me these last 12 years. I’m looking at this as starting over and trying to undo the past.

To read the full interview, click here.

To talk to a professional about eating disorder treatment, nutritional needs, and more, please reach out to our staff or schedule an appointment at The Kahm Clinic today.